一月
2008
騎驢「想」馬
比「騎驢找馬」更糟糕的生活態度。沒錯，騎驢「想」馬。
☉ ☉ ☉
姑且不論在現實生活中，驢其實也有比馬實用的地方、在很多人眼裡也比馬來得可愛等等，在「騎驢找馬」這句成語裡，「馬」就是人心裡真正想要的第一志願，而「驢」則是「剩下的／將就著湊合的／隨便／whatever」。
等等。
根據統計學名言「人生不如意事十之八九」，一個人在十次必須騎上某種動物的場合裡，有八九次騎到的都不是心裡真正想要的。因此，如何處理自己和這八九頭驢子的緣份，能清楚地顯示一個人面臨人生抉擇時的態度。
最有種的人拒絕和馬以外的生物接觸。非卿不娶、非君不嫁、非馬不騎，因此常常是一個人孤獨地在街上步行。
最隨和的人直接愛上驢子。「你才是我最真實的擁有，」他們這樣說著。
其餘的人比較現實：「雖然不想要驢子，但總不能找不到馬就一直走路吧！」於是一面騎著驢子往目的地前進，一面抱怨為什麼驢辦不到馬辦得到的事，一面遲疑地望著遠方的四腿生物、不能確定牠是另一頭驢或終於是匹馬….
但還有另外一種人。騎驢「想」馬的人。
☉ ☉ ☉
或許有人會問：「『騎驢找馬』和『騎驢想馬』有什麼不同呢？都是不滿現狀啊！」
差別在於「積極的程度」。
「找」這一個字包含了很多動作：皺眉沈思、引頸張望、噘嘴打量、暗自評估，並且隨時帶著一種蓄勢待發的氣味。然而，「想」，就只是很單純的「想」。不管是矜持男羞赧地說自己「有色無膽」、王陽明語帶玄機的一句「知易行難」、還是藥酒廣告裡的老婆不屑的評語「男人過了四十歲就只剩一張嘴」，騎驢「想」馬的人永遠不會離開驢子，充其量就是獨自沈醉地套用電影台詞：「曾經有一匹真實的馬兒來到我的面前；我沒有珍惜，等到失去的時候才後悔莫及….」
這樣的人生態度是很悲哀的，因為對自己和驢子來說都注定是個悲劇。而且還得用那種無奈消極的步調緩慢地朝 著 悲 劇 前 進 . . . .
☉ ☉ ☉
說著說著其實有點心虛了起來。因為我們都或多或少，在生活的某些層面或時刻，騎驢「想」馬地虛無前進著。
無論如何地積極一點吧！要找馬，就要在找到的時候能鼓起勇氣換馬。而如果認清自己就是個一輩子離不開驢子的人，好歹，別再想馬了。
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